Unless you're a slug-ologist, slugs are pretty boring af. They don’t have many endearing qualities unless, of course, you find mucus endearing because they have a lot of mucus. That’s kind of their thing. That and having eight inch penises that come out of the back of their head like some sort of nightmare from Clive Barker’s imagination.
Pretty much the only thing cool about slugs is that after a long day of slugging about they like to party.
But what’s uncool about that is if you give slugs beer, like Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas, they will happily try to drink themselves to death. But unlike Nic Cage’s character, they often succeed.
We all know beer is delicious. But why do slugs like beer? Well, it’s stressful being a slug. A lot of things eat slugs. Imagine if you had to be on constant alert because a chicken or frog wanted to make you their dinner.
Just playing, it’s because of their diet. Aside from some earthworms and fungi, slugs tend to chow down on plant material such as leaves, stems, roots and other dead or decaying plant matter.
I know that makes it sound like beer tastes like dirt and fungi. And while some do, I’m looking at you Steel Reserve 211, a lot don’t. It’s actually the yeasty and malty aromas of beer that will attract slugs from all around.
This is such a known fact in the gardening world that many gardeners will use beer to rid their gardens of slugs. Bury a red solo cup to the lip in your garden and watch as slugs far and wide cruise in for a pint. But this is where things get dark if you’re a slug. Once the slugs slug on up to the lip of the cup and peer over and slide on down there are really only two end results. One, after getting all slippery from the beer the slugs loose traction and fall into the beer bath where they are never heard from again. Or two, they go full Leaving Las Vegas and drink enough of the beer that the ethanol in the beer poisons them and it’s bye bye slug life.
Either way, you’ll find your garden free from the slimy creatures as long as you don’t have a problem wasting some beer.
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